CHOOSING A BLESSING, FINDING A PARTNER SYARIAH WAY
DIAN APRILIANINGRUM, Suara Merdeka daily

Syahidah Mutmainah, 22, is surprised when her Koranic reading teacher proposes her to do taaruf or getting introduced to a man. She herself and the man have never exchanged even a single word between one to another although they both join the same organization. They only met once, and no word was spoken.

“At the beginning I was doubtful as I still do my university study, but the man I was introduced with is pious and shares the same vision and mission with me,” says Syahidah, a fifth-semester student at an Islamic university in Jakarta.

To Syahidah, getting married is an ibadah (a devotion to God), therefore finding a life partner should also be in accordance with syariah. “Although it does not guarantee a long lasting marriage, compared to dating, taaruf provides more blessing,” says Syahidah.

The word taaruf originates from Arabic word lita’arafu which means getting to know each other. Most people, however, consider taaruf as a way to find a life partner through the help of a third party. The third party could be anybody considered to have a close relationship with the person to be introduced and knows clearly the character and the personality of the person. So, it could be a friend or a religious leader. The third party is entrusted by the person doing the taaruf to select, introduce, and accompany the person during taaruf process.

Taaruf starts with the exchange of personal data. Both parties are advised to perform an Istikharah prayer to gain confidence. After the two think the data fit their requirement, the process could proceed with a meeting witnessed by a matchmaker. A man or a woman has the right to ask detailed questions to a partner candidate, such as their habits, traits, deseases and others. To prevent fitna from occuring, taaruf is ussualy held in secrecy and is only known by certain parties as every taaruf does not always end in a marriage. Persons doing the taaruf could decide whether or not to continue the process over various considerations.

Taaruf does not guaratee that all marriages will bring happiness, as some end in separation. Therefore, although persons doing taaruf trust their matchmaker, it is advisable to them to seek for other information about their life partner candidate through other sources.